A vampire has entered the chat. And the bookshop.

Count Vasile Morvath dealt with death in 1476. Taxes took longer. They arrived five hundred and fifty years later, in a brown envelope with a window in it, and the window is the worst part.

Crypt-O Currency is out now in paperback, at £12.99, printed to order by Lulu. It is set in Alderley Edge, where a very pale, very rich man who only comes out at night is merely the third most normal man on the street. It has a cleaner called Ethel, a nineteen-year-old from the night shift at Sainsbury's, a lawyer who bills in six-minute units, and Mr Dredge from HMRC, who has never lost a folder and has never been seen to blink.

That makes five paperbacks. Lulu posts a whole order in one parcel, so you pay the postage once, however many vampires and pies you put in the basket. As before, each copy is printed the moment you order it, so allow a week or two. Books do not hurry, and this one has had five hundred years of practice at not hurrying.

Chapter One is free to read on Patreon, and there is a video of it read aloud, with the words on screen, on the book's page. Try it before you buy it. The Count would approve. He has always believed in seeing the figures first.