The Pie Whisperer
Elvis makes the finest pies in Winsford. The trouble started when they began whispering back.
Comic novels by Simon Donnelly, mostly set in Cheshire
The books
Comic novels about ordinary people having a baffling time of it. Mostly set in Cheshire.
The Terms and Conditions of Everything
The universe came with terms and conditions. Nobody read them. Somebody should have.
Best Human
Ken took in a stray collie. The collie took in Ken. Only one of them is from round here.
Nobody's Told the Bees
A secret intelligence unit operates from a bee rescue van in Sandbach. Nobody suspects a thing. Not even the bees.
Crypt-O Currency
A vampire has made a killing in crypto. HMRC would like a word. Several, in writing.
The Badger of Proof
Iris has very poor eyesight and a new collie. The collie is a badger. It has opinions about her.
Questions people ask
Are the books set in real places?
Yes. Winsford, Frodsham, Helsby Hill, Sandbach, Alderley Edge, Norley and Hatchmere are all real, and mostly where they have always been. The people in the books are made up.
Do I need to read them in order?
No. Every book stands on its own. A few characters wander between books, the way people do in Cheshire, but you will not get lost.
How do I buy a paperback?
The paperbacks are printed to order by Lulu and the shop opens very soon. Until then, join free on Patreon and you will hear the moment it does, possibly before the kettle has boiled.
Are the podcasts really free?
Yes. The novels are read a chapter a week on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Patreon members who chip in get chapters early and the whole-book PDFs.
Is there an ebook?
Yes, for The Terms and Conditions of Everything and Best Human. Paid Patreon members get the whole book as an ebook, so you can read ahead of the podcast instead of waiting politely for next week.
Is there a mailing list?
No. Follow along free on Patreon instead. It keeps everything in one place and means nobody here is sitting on a spreadsheet of email addresses.
Free on Patreon
Read the first chapter tonight
Join free on Patreon and you get the first chapters, every public podcast episode and the occasional bulletin from Cheshire. It costs nothing, takes about a minute, and is considerably less effort than finding a decent pie south of Crewe.
FreeFirst chapters, public episodes, news
PaidEvery chapter early, whole-book PDFs, member audio
Patreon looks after the sign-up and your details, so nobody here has to. Everyone is happier this way, especially the paperwork.